ebb and flow

It’s been a while…

I generally don’t post unless I have something crafty, thrifty or creative to share.

Hence the silence.

That’s the thing about creativity.

It ebbs and flows.

Mine’s been on a three¬†six month ebb.

I’m feeling uninspired and tired.

Just not myself.

It’s like the things that used to motivate and drive me just don’t anymore.

Blog hits, being featured on blogs or in magazines used to be the end-all, be-all. (Please don’t misunderstand that last sentence…it sounds obnoxious…but I’m simply sharing what used to motivate me).

But now it just seems frivolous and silly.

I feel like I’m on the verge of heading in a new direction, but my compass is broken.

My son leaving for college threw me for a real loop.

It totally messed with my equilibrium and I can’t get my footing back.

Everything is different.

Yes, I still have two children at home that need me.

But being teenagers, the need is more of the transportation variety than the “mommy, let’s hold hands and pick flowers and read stories” variety.

I’m feeling a bit lost.

Like I was once the life of the party and now I’m just the weird chick in the corner.

So I’m waiting.

And listening.

And trying to figure out what’s next.

all images via Pinterest

 

I realize there are way more important things going on in the world than my creative dry spell and lack of direction.

Goodness knows there are people out there who are hurting and suffering with real problems.

But this is what’s on my heart at the moment.

Thanks for listening.

 

 

 

39 Responses to ebb and flow

  1. cassie November 8, 2012 at 1:32 am #

    good for you for listening to yourself! i have been doing some of the same- my creativity is there at the moment and i am still writing, but i am letting go of all the “fluff” around it- links, getting featured, etc…. it really is not important in the grand scheme of things, now is it? take your time- we’ll be here when you are!

  2. Aleena November 8, 2012 at 1:34 am #

    It’s always nice when someone shares their thoughts…

  3. Lisa @ Fern Creek Cottage November 8, 2012 at 1:43 am #

    It’s so funny that you posted this tonight (not ha ha funny..) I was just thinking about you tonight while I was cooking dinner and how you hadn’t posted in awhile and about your big sale. I thought to myself… Her son going off to college has really thrown her for a loop. I was wishing I could call you and let you just talk it out with me. I know I will feel a little lost when my oldest leaves for college as well, so I sympathize. I’ll be praying for you sister.

  4. Mel November 8, 2012 at 2:17 am #

    I have no words that will make it any easier for you.

    I have so enjoyed getting to know you, being inspired by you, reading about your adventures and getting a good laugh; you are such an amazing writer.

    All I have to offer is a big virtual (((((((((((((((HUG)))))))))))))

    • Diana Lentz November 9, 2012 at 4:04 am #

      You are not alone feeling the way that you do. Change is always hard which I’ve been experiencing since I retired three months ago. I am not myself at all!

      Parents always have a really hard time when their children leave the nest. The only way that gets any better is they get married and they start giving you precious grandchildren! :)

      What I’ve been doing is trying to donate some handmade items for a church Bazaar and work on gifts that had been unfinished for several years. Also spending more quality time with my mom while I’m blessed to still have her
      .
      After seeing the devastation Sandy has caused it does make you reevaluate.

      I really appreciate you sharing.

  5. Erin November 8, 2012 at 2:46 am #

    Emailing ya:)

  6. Christy November 8, 2012 at 3:16 am #

    I was just thinking about my favorite bloggers yesterday, and you came to mind. I had to click on the link to your blog to make sure I hadn’t missed a post. I realized I haven’t seen anything from you lately. Sorry you’re in a funk. I know about those. Hope you get the inspiration you’re searching for. :) Blessings to you!

  7. Laura November 8, 2012 at 4:09 am #

    remember, just as a garden goes dormant, so can creativity. Spend the winter reading, exploring your inner life, and I bet next spring, there will be blossoms in your garden of creativity again!

  8. Ruthie Marek November 8, 2012 at 4:28 am #

    What an honest post. Thanks. I so get it. I have cancer. And a blog. I’ve come to realize that I really want to use my life and my time to help others. And what used to seem important, so doesn’t anymore. In fact, I just blogged about that very thing this week! I re-prioritized my life two years before I got my diagnosis. And it was perfect timing. I think you’re on the right track. You have so much talent. My advice: funnel it into someone or something who can be blessed by it. As my license plate reads: UZ UR GFT.
    xox
    Ruthie
    ruthiesgift.blogspot.com
    thechristiangirlscottage.blogspot.com

  9. Carol November 8, 2012 at 4:43 am #

    Sounds like you are getting a glimpse at the bigger picture and trying to see how you were designed to fit in it. You will figure it out! God Bless You. Carol

  10. Jann Olson November 8, 2012 at 5:29 am #

    Things always have a way of working out. I know that you will find yourself whether it be the old you or a new you. As much as I love blogging and being featured there are certainly more important things in life. But for now I still enjoy the little things. But one must take time to look at the big picture!
    Hugs,
    Jann

  11. Carol November 8, 2012 at 7:09 am #

    I was a basket case when my son went off to college and I still had an 11 year old at home. It is an adjustment when one chapter ends and you aren’t sure where the next chapter will lead you.

    I started blogging less than a year ago and I find that it is making me be more creative. I like the writing and staging and taking photos, but I have to be creative in order to have something to show and write about.

    Good luck finding your direction.

  12. Wendy November 8, 2012 at 11:19 am #

    Thank you for sharing about your inner life. I know I, and so many others, go through similar stages in life and hearing you describe it so beautifully lets us know we are not alone. Living near you, I know that all of this darkness at this time of year doesn’t help with these kind of phases. But do know, the sun is still there even if we can’t see it directly.

  13. JamieK November 8, 2012 at 11:58 am #

    I think of you often…and knew something was up. Watching our children grow into adults and having their own lives is exciting yet can be sad. Watching them with their own challenges and wanting so much to help but knowing we have to sit back and let them grow. I feel your pain Susan…feel your joy….feel your “lostness”….I promise you it will get better. God always makes a way! We must learn to rest in Him. This is just a season – one that you will grow in so many ways – one that God will use to help other Mommy’s one day. Resting in Him was a real challenge for me….I was always a “doer”…in control kinda thing. Thankfully I’ve learned to let Him be in control now….placed my children in His hands and can finally sleep at night. I pray each day will get better and better for you….a new vision will come and you will have rest..His rest. Thank you for sharing and for all your sweet inspiration. Always one of my fav’s! I’ll be praying for you. Wish we lived closer we’d go out for coffee and talk. Big Hugs!

  14. Gina November 8, 2012 at 12:32 pm #

    I totally understand your feelings! This is exactly how I have been feeling for the last year. I just never put it into words. Thanks you for sharing.

  15. Jan November 8, 2012 at 1:33 pm #

    I can certainly relate to your feelings. I retired this past Christmas after 35 years of teaching. Shortly after that we started a renovation which took three months so we lived out of our tiny bedroom with two dogs. My elderly mother was in very poor health and passed away in April. I had to handle a lot of her business and grieve at the same time. When the dust began to settle and things calmed down, I felt so lost. I went through a brief depression and just wanted to sleep and stay in the bed. I got over that and then I just didn’t know what to do with my days. It was quite an adjustment but I’m slowly getting the hang of it. I started a tiny booth in an antique/flea market, I’m president of a local chapter of an educational association, I volunteer two days a week in some friend’s classrooms and I’m still gradually getting my home back in order from the renovation. It must be really hard when a child leaves home. I feel for you there. Thanks for sharing your story. It’s nice to know others go through those times. Looking forward to your future posts.

  16. Terri November 8, 2012 at 2:06 pm #

    You won’t hear “That still small voice” if you aren’t still…. (so to speak).. thank you for sharing…. Sometimes we need to just stop… and listen… “rest” our minds.. so to speak!!!! Know what it means to have a child leave home for college….. when I left her for the first time….. I was so excited for her and so was she………. FUNNY THING IS.. later on, we shared with each other… when I got back home, i sat on her bed and cried like a baby!! She shared … she got in her car and drove over to a Wendys.. sat in the parking lot and cried.. like a baby!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! NOW.. those are sweet memories for this Mom… she is graduated.. and has been teaching school for ten years now!!! Blessings, Terri

  17. Kay November 8, 2012 at 2:54 pm #

    I understand the “funk” your in. I went through it after each one of my three children left the nest and the toughest was the last one. I’ve always worked but my main roll was as a Mom and when they left, who was I?!? I will tell you it does pass and you learn to love and embrace the time you have to be you and you will become a mother-in-law and a grandma and all those voids get filled with more joy than you can imagine! It’s a new stage in your journey of life and there is some adjustment time, but life is good and there are some joyous, wonderful moments lying in front on you! Keep Smiling!

  18. Paula November 8, 2012 at 2:58 pm #

    Thank you for your honesty and transparency. I am not a blogger, just a reader. But, I have been where you are and am still finding my way. Not an easy thing, but the rewards are more than worth the struggle. I wish you the best. May you find the peace and loving arms of our Father to be your greatest comfort.

  19. Darla November 8, 2012 at 3:23 pm #

    I would be in your same place if it weren’t for my 9 yr. old whom I am homeschooling. Having friends and sisters who are going through this, I have put thought and prayer into it already. You obviously have enormous skills and talents. My thought is that since I am so incredibly blessed, I desire to use my time to serve others. Pregnant teens, the elderly, those in crisis. That is my heart. I pray that the Lord will show you how you can continue to contribute in lasting ways. You are blessed indeed!

  20. karen@somewhatquirky November 8, 2012 at 3:35 pm #

    I left a job 3 years ago and haven’t found a definite path yet! But I try not to be hard on myself and live in peace. I call it my sabbatical extended. Try to relax and go with the flow. Good things will happen!

  21. Denise November 8, 2012 at 4:18 pm #

    Thanks for sharing where you are at. Great things are on the future for you. Whenever there is an ebb, there will always be something awesome waiting. I hope you feel loved and understood! :) We all have those same feelings (all of them) I don’t look forward to the day when my girl leaves us.

  22. Maureen November 8, 2012 at 5:27 pm #

    Sometimes you just have to step back and take care of you. I’ve been in that space for a few months now and you would think it would be easy but it’s not. You just have to roll with it.

  23. suephillips November 8, 2012 at 5:57 pm #

    When my oldest 2 girls left for college a year apart, I honestly didnt know what to do with myself. I had another daughter at home who was just entering high school. I was so glum and focused on the fact that she would one leave too. She used to say, but mom, I will be here for four more years!!! Looking back, I wish I could/would not have “wasted” those precious years, but i honestly could not help it. Now they all live 4 hours away and are very successful in there lives and extremely close to each other. I cannot say that i would not want to have them all back and children once again BUT i am doing better. I kinda “replaced” them with 3 golden retrievers!!! sadly lost my 2 older ones within a month of each other, now i am back with 1 golden boy which kinda imitates what i went thru with the girls. we, my golden boy and i , are learning to enjoy life in a different way than before. we have doggie play dates, go more than we use to. Life goes on and the Lord will open a door for you. I have been helping take care of a ton of older family members who quite frankly would be stranded if not for me. That has a been a true blessing to me. Keep us posted! fyi, all you readers look totally forward to seeing what is up your sleeve when we all check our favorite blogs each day!!! with you being on the top of mine. !!!!

  24. Suesan November 8, 2012 at 10:34 pm #

    Ebb and Flow. I like that. I happen to be VERY familiar with those concepts. Life changes can certainly wreak havoc on one’s desire to be creative. Sounds like you need this time to rest and rejuvenate. You ooze creativity, so I’m sure you will be back in action when you feel rested and healed from the changes in your life.

    Best wishes.

  25. Julie November 8, 2012 at 10:52 pm #

    I never would have come up with the words “like I used to the the life of the party and now I’m the weird chick in the corner” That’s how I feel, too, since my two kids have left the nest. Just a bit unbalanced, but MAN does my house stay clean. ;).

  26. martha bunch November 8, 2012 at 11:11 pm #

    I was terribly lost for a while when I was adjusting to those empty nest changes. I prayed, and prayed. I had found such satisfaction in mothering, I could not imagine anything else ever being so fulfilling. God had a plan. I was soon asked to be part of two different ministries ( which was a delightful surprise, as I was newish in this area). The specific job descriptions and necessary skills were so unusual, and such a perfect fit for me, that they were obviously Heaven sent. I just love this season of my life. God did not do this for me because I am deserving, or special. He did it because He delights in giving creative, personal gifts to His children. He will do the same for you. Pray, and keep your eyes open for His generosity.

  27. Kim B November 9, 2012 at 12:51 am #

    I know I have told you this before…but I think it bears repeating…when I met you, you were one of those people that I felt totally comfortable with, you were down to earth and kind, and I could tell right away that you were sincere! I know that being open and honest on your Blog has helped others to feel comfortable with sharing that they too are human, and I truly admire you for your honesty!

    I am someone who still does not know what they want to be “when I grow up”…you are so creative, this is just a creative break you are on!

    I am thinking about you and sending warm thoughts and prayers your way!

    Hugs, Kim

  28. Stacey@A Sort Of Fairytale November 9, 2012 at 1:19 am #

    Hey, mama. I can really relate. Truly. I used to care a lot about blog hits and features, but I don’t anymore. I only want to do what is truly fulfilling to me, and trying to be a top blogger surely isn’t one them. I of course still enjoy the accolades when they come, like anyone most likely would, but it’s not a priority anymore like it used to be. I only blog when I feel I have something to share…that seems to be maybe once a week for me these days. I enjoy blogging and reading blogs, but I would rather being doing instead. Unfortunately other blogger’s lives sometimes make me feel bad about myself, you know, like your not even measuring up? In fact this happened just today when I read/saw something and it made me want to stop reading blogs altogether, because of the way it made me feel. Dumb, I know, but true. Anyway, you will figure it out…it’s best just to marinate during this big adjustment in your life (your son leaving for college). Feel free to call or email anytime :)

  29. Laura November 9, 2012 at 1:21 am #

    Life is so full of ebbs and flows, Each stage of our lives is important and unique. Sometimes we need a hiatus to spend “me time”. Yes, you will either take up where you left off at some point, or you will move in a new direction. Just know that we are here cheering you on.

    Hugs,
    Laura

  30. Lynne November 9, 2012 at 1:50 am #

    I can not tell you how happy your post made me because I have been feeling the exact same way and I just don’t know how to explain it to people. I have a daughter that is grown, married and has 3 kids. I also have two sons. My oldest son just joined the navy and is now off in the world(actually in New Jersey helping with the devastation left by Sandy). Him leaving is what started me feeling exactly how you are. My youngest son is in college but lives at home right now. I hardly see him, as he works two jobs as well as goes to school. I have sat and bawled and then I get mad at myself for feeling sad. I mean the whole point of being a mom is to raise children to be self sufficient and yet when they leave they take a piece of your heart with them. I don’t know what I should do with the rest of my life. I think about getting a part time job, and yet I don’t want to miss anything that the grandkids could be doing, or going to lunch with my daughter or sister. I weigh the pros and cons and just can’t figure it out. I love to decorate, but even that doesn’t excite me like it once did. Thinking about decorating for Christmas has me feeling sad, as my son won’t be here for the first time in 22 years. I feel hollow. I haven’t worked in 17 years. I don’t know how to fill out an application because all my skills are outdated. I tried Hobby Lobby twice, but they don’t seem to want me. Please tell me what you plan on doing and how you decide. I’m wandering and I can’t find my way. Maybe the two of us can find it together? Thanks for making me feel less alone!

  31. Erika@BeBookBound November 9, 2012 at 5:08 am #

    Regardless of where the ebb and flow of your life takes you, please know that everywhere you have been has been better because you were there—from your children’s lives to your blog community to the beautiful walls of your home. I have no doubt that many more beautiful opportunities await you.

  32. Betsy C. November 9, 2012 at 7:55 pm #

    First, it was great to see your post. I understand how you feel. I don’t know that I can add anything of value to the beautiful sentiments expressed above, but I hope it helps somehow to know that you have brought much light into the lives of others through your blog. We are pretty close in age. We both have sons who recently left home for college. I do work full time, but my job (which I am grateful for) does not fulfill me. Your blog was the first I ever subscribed to. I have always found your posts to be any combination of inspiring/humorous/clever/creative/poignant, and I have very much enjoyed them all. Don’t despair over not being able to figure out what to do with yourself. There is a Nathaniel Hawthorne quote I am very fond of which goes something like, “Happiness is like a butterfly which, when pursued, is always beyond our grasp, but, if you will sit down quietly, may alight upon you.” I know your butterfly will find you :)

  33. Linda November 10, 2012 at 2:59 pm #

    Amazing how wonderful to be needed by our children. I truly understand what it feels like to have an empty house. Our sons graduated and off they went to college, so I kept busy with teaching. Then I retired (earlier than I wanted to). I thought all was well until I noticed my laundry…a weeks worth of pajamas!!! The great thing about the cycle of life is the next adventure. I hope you are ready to hope the gated door and continue with your blog…it is always a pleasure to read. I have missed your posts.

    • Linda November 10, 2012 at 4:23 pm #

      opps..open the gated door

  34. Abigail November 11, 2012 at 1:41 am #

    I found your page through google as I was looking for the metal chair from world market. I immediately loved your creativity and designs. As a newly wed, I can only dream to one day have a lovely and welcoming home like yours. Please know that your work inspires many people, I added your button to my blog.
    Thanks,
    Abigail K

  35. Maple & Magnolia November 11, 2012 at 1:55 pm #

    Somehow the words “thank you” just don’t seem enough. The fact you all would take the time to leave such beautiful, encouraging, heartfelt comments (& emails) just blows me away. I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again…some of the most powerful words in the english language are, “I’ve been there” or “I understand.” You can’t possibly know how touched I am by your words. Thank you, friends.

  36. Lonna November 12, 2012 at 2:02 am #

    I have been reading your blog for a few months or so- and was struck by your unique point of view and “quirky” in a good way- sense of humor. Your honesty and vulnerability endear you to your readers. You’re not feeling on top of your game now- but “this too shall pass.”
    I am sure that you are loved and dear to countless readers, friends, and family. You are just needing some time to reinvent your life- and it will be even better when you come out of this on the other side.

  37. kathy November 12, 2012 at 9:09 pm #

    Been with you for..geez at least a year now and loved every single post…we lost my Hubs brother Dec 29th and since then I have had a hard time blogging…lost my bearings I guess and haven’t posted for seasons so I really relate to what you are saying…but you have great talent for writing and creating…so I hope you get your “tide” back girl because you are one of the special ones out there that will be truly missed if you don’t.

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