fear and robots

Sending you all a huge thank you for your supportive emails and comments regarding my new blogitude!

You are the best.

In the spirit of keeping things spontaneous…

And possibly sticking my big toe over the line into TMIville….

TMIville: the area in which too much information is shared. Possibly creating discomfort or awkwardness for the reader. ;)

I had a hysterectomy last week.

Whew…that wasn’t so hard, was it?

Everybody okay?

Breathe

Why in the wide, wide world of sports am I sharing something so personal and off-topic?

Oh, you thought I was joking yesterday?

I’ll spare you the unpleasantries but suffice it to say I had several “issues” that needed to be corrected and a hysterectomy was needed.

Not just any ole hysterectomy, mind you.

A robotic one.

Seriously.

I’m not at all a fearful person, but in this instance I was totally freaked out.

Leading up to the surgery, I was having alternating nightmares.

One involved Will Smith and those freaky looking mannequin robots trying the steal my organs.

will_smith_i_robot-wide

The other, even more disturbing, was about this rogue ROOMBA that was trying to vacuum out my lady parts.

roomba560

Insert loud record scratch….

Did she just say lady parts?

Sorry. That might have been a couple of toes over the line. ;)

Blame it on post-anesthesia fuzzy brain. But ¬†just out of curiosity…raise your hand if you’ll never look at a ROOMBA the same. ;)

I’m happy to report that neither happened.

A week and a day after my surgery and I can honestly say that it was a piece of cake.

Well, that may be a teensy overstatement. I did spend the first few days looking for the mack truck that ran over my body. Repeatedly. ;)

But after that? Cake.

Now I’m officially bored out of my mind.

I’ve read several books. Watched several movies.

Seen about 400 episodes of Gilmore Girls (my go-to show when I’m under the weather).

I can’t lift anything.

I can’t drive.

I can’t sign important legal documents. (Wha??? Are they afraid I might bequeath my beloved glue gun to someone unworthy?)

And most devastating of all…to my shadow/sidekick…I cannot throw tennis balls.

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Did you know that dogs know how to play the guilt card?

Riley could teach classes on it.

But what a pal. She never leaves my side.

To summarize…(oh thank you, Lord…she’s wrapping this up)…

Now that it’s all done…I’m excited that my quality of life will go up exponentially.

And the thought of never, ever, ever receiving a visit from that old hag Aunt Flo again?

Let’s just say that the happy dance I’m doing will need to be measured on the Richter scale.

As soon as these stitches heal…

 

 

 

30 Responses to fear and robots

  1. Andrea May 17, 2013 at 4:20 pm #

    Lol good to see they didn’t remove your sense of humor with your lady bits :) A few of my friends had hysterectomies and didn’t have anything pleasant to say about them. Glad yours went better!

  2. Carol May 17, 2013 at 6:13 pm #

    Sounds like the funny lady is back! Ha, so glad you are recovering so well, I have been praying for you :-)

  3. CIm Allen May 17, 2013 at 6:50 pm #

    I’m so loving your new blogatude :) Poor Riley, I have four dogs I totally get the guilt look. I would be happy dancing too .. congrats :)

  4. Erin May 18, 2013 at 1:33 am #

    You are hilarious, and no I will never look at a Roomba the same ever again. I am glad to hear you are feeling better and that Riley is keeping you company(guilt trip or not). Is there really such a thing as TMI, if you want to share it, then I want to read it….okay, maybe not everything, but you know whaimsayin. This makes me happy to be here, and you know those weeks you have when every idiot known to man decides to annoy you and wear you down? Yepper, this is indeed a very good day to read about your robotic hysterectomy and to get a good laugh and to thank God for reminding me that I am not a loner, there are other people out there that are awesome..YOU!

  5. kelley May 18, 2013 at 1:57 am #

    I had a hysterectomy 2 years ago, when I was 34. If you have any questions, I’m here!

  6. Meg May 18, 2013 at 2:18 am #

    glad you are feeling better. i have watched the gilmore girls shamelessly probably 7 times start to finish. it is such a feel good show. glad to know i am not the only one.

  7. cindy the cottage chick May 18, 2013 at 2:25 am #

    Ugh…I’m afeared I’ll be facing the robots soon myself. My GYN keeps threatening….Glad to hear your recovery wasn’t tooooo bad. :)

  8. Kim Williams May 18, 2013 at 2:35 am #

    I know this sounds weird, but I too just had the DaVinci robotic hysterectomy 2 weeks and 2 days ago. I am at home recovering and know what you mean about boredom. Everytime I think I am going to go do something… I have to remind myself that I can’t do it. A real bummer when your house needs to be cleaned and all of those projects are staring you in the face. Don’t do what I did and do some of those things and then get benched for a couple of days. Still remember you have had MAJOR surgery, even though you only have 4 incisions. So enjoy the down time, but definitely stay away from info-mercials. (I now have a Shark vacuum cleaner and steam mop). It all sounded so good under the haze of the pain medications too. Huh.
    Hope you have a speedy recovery.

  9. Regena Fickes May 18, 2013 at 2:50 am #

    Glad you are on the mend. Never understood why I could not sign any legal documents after my surgery until after my 6 weeks, either. So good to have you back. Feel as if a long lost friend has come home.

  10. Terry May 18, 2013 at 2:58 am #

    Heck I’m putting my Roomba on Craigslist tonight. (snort)

    Hang in there Toots, we’re here for you. :)

  11. Donnamae May 18, 2013 at 3:00 am #

    Think I’m gonna giggle when I see the next roomba commercial! Glad you are feeling better…bored, but better! ;)

  12. JaneEllen May 18, 2013 at 3:05 am #

    I hope you will continue to do what you need to in order to recover and be in the best shape possible. Doc not kidding when he tells you not to do all the things he told you.
    I had a hysterectomy at 31, I didn’t do too well emotionally afterwards. I had 4 kids to take care of, one of which was about 2 yrs. old. She broke her ankle so I had to carry her up and down the steps to our apt. The doc and staff had a fit when I walked in for my 6 week check up with her on my hip. What was I supposed to do, drag her by her hair? She refused to go in her stroller.
    I also thought hubs wouldn’t want me anymore since we hadn’t been married very long. Like I said emotionally I was a wreck. Took me awhile to get straightened out but finally I leveled out. Not to have to deal with the alternative was a big joy.
    Think it’s worse to contemplate than it is to have it done. Just take care ok.

  13. Cindy May 18, 2013 at 3:15 am #

    OK, so this was my favorite post of Your’s ever! I was raised on potty talk and still do it with my grown children. We share pictures of post operation suture pictures so this post was just my speed, although I don’t expect you to show your suture pics. : ) Hope you feel back to your old self real soon (minus Aunt Flo of course). I sure hope you continue to share an occasional decorating or DIY picture, but don’t tone down your personal stuff either. Thanks for your candor. I’m so glad you’re back!

  14. Karen May 18, 2013 at 3:18 am #

    seriously, please take care, glad all went well for you….lil hug…and tmi?? not at all :)

  15. Ruthie May 18, 2013 at 3:34 am #

    I like your style. And I love your humor. Keep writing. Any way you want to.
    xo
    Ruthie

  16. Stacey May 18, 2013 at 3:34 am #

    I know we’re not supposed to want a hysterectomy…but let me just say…I’m jealous!!
    Hope you are feeling top notch very soon. Enjoy a little slow time. :)

  17. Sandi May 18, 2013 at 3:52 am #

    Had mine out years ago for numerous reasons. My only regret is not having done it sooner. Solved a multitude of miserable problems and you’re right, I don’t miss Flo at all! Wishing you a speedy recovery.

  18. MaryBeth May 18, 2013 at 4:10 am #

    I’m happy to hear you are healing and doing well. “Issues” can mean anything! You had me worried! Enjoy the rest!

  19. Sarah May 18, 2013 at 4:15 am #

    I have so missed your blog. Glad to hear you are doing well and thankful you are back to posting, sense of humor in tact!

  20. CeCe May 18, 2013 at 5:01 am #

    Hope you are feeling quite well soon….
    You certainly write quite well!
    Hugs for a great recovery…
    Another enjoyable post..

  21. Lisa May 18, 2013 at 12:33 pm #

    I’ve been there, so I can understand. I did not have robotic surgery though. I am so glad you are doing better and hope you are back to 100% real soon. I so understand the not
    being able to do anything but rest.

  22. Suesan May 18, 2013 at 1:10 pm #

    Had my hysterectomy in 2005 and I was never so happy to go under the knife. Once all the pain and discomfort and boredom passed, that is. Hope you are back to fighting form soon.

    ps. My dog, Brutus, has the guilt face down pat, but when I had my surgery, I had my precious weiner dog, Heidi, to snuggle with me and get me through. Fur friends are the best.

  23. Mary May 18, 2013 at 2:21 pm #

    Bio-identical! It’s the only way to go!!

    Happy healing!

  24. Linda S. in NE May 18, 2013 at 11:40 pm #

    I am so glad to hear from you. I am sorry that you have had to undergo surgery, no matter how it is performed. So glad to hear you are starting to feel better. Please take care, and give that gorgeous Riley a scratch behind her ear. I am familiar with the guilt card/look, but she understands more than you know.

  25. Jan Fusco May 19, 2013 at 1:06 am #

    You take care and don’t over do it. so glad to hear from you again, even it is about lady parts.

  26. Rachel May 19, 2013 at 4:01 pm #

    Welcome back! I thought maybe I had accidentally unsubscribed to your blog. Love reading your funny takes on life, but so glad you’re feeling better. Riley will be rested up too and be ready for some serious tennis ball fetching.

  27. Debbie w May 19, 2013 at 8:56 pm #

    I have missed your posts….your home is one of my favs!

  28. Lori May 20, 2013 at 12:54 pm #

    Rest and heal.
    So good to be hearing from you again. :)
    Also glad your son is home and take care of his momma.

  29. Kelly @ The Moon and Me May 20, 2013 at 7:59 pm #

    Huzzah to you! I just had one 3 months ago and it was the best decision of my life. Okay, maybe not THE best. But I was never even one bit sorry. I should have done it 3 years ago. Surprising that you can’t lift or drive. My doc just said, if it hurts, don’t do it. He’s awesome. But I still have “some parts” and that may be the difference. :)
    Glad to hear you’re well…you’ll be so happy!
    Kelly

  30. Marianne in Mo. June 6, 2013 at 10:17 pm #

    I’m another one who would prefer to have my “lady parts” gone, but the doc says no every time I ask. Sorry you’re on lockdown though, I know how that sucks. You may not want to drive for a day or two, but the minute your car is in for repairs, you think of 100 places you want to drive to! Rest and recuperate!

    RHOOMBA, RHOOMBA!!! ;0) Hilarious!

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